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It was then that I returned to Alex’s sexual bucket list which I mentioned after writing about our last experience together last week. One of the things on Alex’s sexual bucket list is to have a threesome with two guys.An entire Friday afternoon to ourselves I thought that I’d try and line this up for Alex and after mentioning this to him he thought it sounded great.Then I had to start thinking of who would be the third guy to join us. I could find a Grindr hookup but if it didn’t work out that would suck for Alex’s first threesome. There is the gay couple that I hooked up with a few weeks ago but they are somewhat ‘experienced’ and not sure if they would be that excited about breaking in a first timer who also has a girlfriend and isn’t 100% sure of his sexuality. Then there is Tim, the first guy I hooked up with when I got back here. Last time I hooked up with Tim was for a threesome with a friend of his who turned out to be pretty drunk when he arrived and it wasn’t the best. In the past year, I have heard Kay and Cathy arguing over whom I loved the most.Two women who I have spent most of the last 30 years with sharing a loving and caring relationship with suddenly felt I loved one more than I loved the other. However, that was not the case. For the one I love most tells me I cannot join her, as my mission here on earth is not complete.My angel tells me three souls once again cry out for help. I do not know if I am strong enough to take on their demons as I scarcely keep my own at bay. Worst yet is the fact I seemed to be losing the hope that once ran strongly through my veins and once filled my heart with each passing lie I heard.I poked at the fire one last time. Maybe this second book of my life was not such a good ideal after all. For not only have, I heard their lies, their deceit and found betrayal of my trust but their tales has awakened the monster within that has laid dormant within me all these years as well.I hung the fire poker back up then.
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